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    January 31

    A Real Update

    I now owe the German department 25p.
     
    Lucy
    xxx
    January 30

    An update

    These are blog posts I do try to avoid, but sometimes you just have to invite people to become as bored of your life as you are.
     
    I owe Mrs Nicholson 5p. Five, petty pence, and simply for the reason I spoke in English in a German lesson. Since when has she upheld this rule? In fact, she speaks just as much English as we do in the space of 50 minutes, so I refuse to pay her money. I needed to speak in English at that particular moment, I was trying to formulate an excuse as to why I still had no essay to hand in, and this is hard when you don't know the German words for 'to save onto a computer' 'incorrectly' 'there is half missing' 'I will bring it tp you tomorrow'. In all honesty, the absent half (I say half, more like three quarters) is missing from pretty much everywhere, including my head. She can either have an essay or a 5p coin, and I know which one I'd rather give.
     
    And I'll leave it there. So much for an update, I know, but the cat has somehow magically managed to get into the house again (since every single door is locked I really am amazed as to how) and I have a suspicion one of them may have had an accident on the utility floor during a disagreement with next door's fat beast.
     
    Lucy
    xxx
     
     
    January 28

    Stereotypical student exam theme

    "From September sixth-formers will begin studying A-level exams which will include a higher grade of A* for those getting marks of 90 percent or above in their papers."

    "Outside Oxbridge, students will need at least two A* grades and standard A grade to be confident of getting a place at their chosen university."

    And they say these things are getting easier *rolls eyes*

    Lucy
    xxx
    January 24

    Ladette to Lady

    I realised after watching this yesterday how rather sad the concept really is. Basically they're taking girls who drink, have sex and have a sense of humour and turning them into 1950s 'ladies'. I agree some of the girls are a bit bratty (like the one who left early) and annoying, but the others are really just girls who party and have fun, and most importantly make me laugh. The humour of the show originates solely from them being disgraceful and winding the fussy old women of the finishing school up, and the flower-arranging, elocution and fine dining has not got very much appeal at all.

    The main thing that annoyed me about it is that it is just so, irritatingly full of old-fashioned ideals. They're training these girls up to 'bag a Lord' and act like a section of society that is small, out-dated and wasting away along with fox-hunting. The Lords themselves (the infuriatingly named 'eligible bachelors') look suspiciously inbred anyway, and I don't understand why anyone would attempt to impress them, especially not with those eyebrows. The pinnacle of stupidity occurred when the old lady teachers of the school blamed the girls for making the bachelors strip, jump in the river and splash around like fools. Were they sadly led astray by the vicious, common girls? Seems so.

    Anyway, despite this I'm still going to watch if only to cheer on the bad behaviour of the normal girls and hope their spirit isn't crushed. I think I'm really just bitter about the students being forced to add invisible 'r's to their vowels. The cheek of it.

    Lucy

    xxx
    January 22

    Religious Tolerance

    Phew, I feel like a neglectful and evil parent to my blog, and like such parents I will blame outside forces. In this case, The Beast Exam of Psychology. As I said to Lou, no wonder Mrs Lee is like she is, the amount of learning she must have done probably filled her brain up so much there was little room left for sanity.
     
    Andrew Morton recently released (or tried to release, I'm not quite sure) an unofficial biography of Tom Cruise. The 'Church' of Scientology got angry (again) about it, and issued a statement slating Morton, many parts of which I found funny. Here are a few select quotes from their argument:
     
    On Andrew Morton's Unauthorized Biography of Tom Cruise: "his book reads like British tabloid journalism at its worst" - Is not criticising his writing technique a low blow?
     
    On Is Tom second-in-command in all but name?: "The Church has many well-known parishioners such as John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Kirstie Alley, Anne Archer, Jenna Elfman, Lisa Marie Presley, Isaac Hayes, Chick Corea and many, many others. All are well known to be Scientologists" - I think celebrity name-dropping is also a low blow.
     
    On Is it possible Katie and Tom’s baby could be the vessel for L. Ron Hubbard’s spirit? Was Katie impregnated by L. Ron Hubbard’s frozen sperm?: "Mr. Hubbard’s sperm was never frozen." - Well, there you have it!
     
    On Was Isabella’s adoption orchestrated by David Miscavige?: "Morton obviously has no regard for anyone’s feelings" - And you do?
     
    On Do Tom and Katie live by the same rules as other Scientologists? Is it true that Scientologists don’t approve of pregnancy outside of wedlock?: "the encyclopedic reference of the Church, What is Scientology?" - Catchy title!
     
    On Did Scientologists build Tom a wildflower field and a tennis court? - I don't think this needs a quote. The question made me laugh quite enough.
     
    On Bizarre and sensationalized descriptions of this Church property - "The property is not in the desert, it is in an agricultural community" - Sorry. (In fact this section reads like a travel brochure for Scientology Holidays, with an "Exterior view of a section of this 500-acre property")
     
    On Did Scientology find Nicole Kidman to be a potential trouble source in Tom’s life?: "Mr. Cruise did not so much as visit any Church of Scientology due to his film production engagements" - Bitter?
     
    On Does Scientology encourage their members not to speak to their family if they don’t support the religion?: "he only spoke to disgruntled ex-members"
     
    On Are Scientologists taught to harass people who oppose them?: "the one doing the harassing is plain to see and his name is Morton." - Nah nah nah naaaah nah.
     
    On When L. Ron Hubbard died was his body full of Vistaril, a psychiatric drug? If so, how do you explain this?: "the toxicology report clearly states: Trace of Hydroxyzine (Vistaril).” A “trace of” is not “full of” " - Fair enough.
     
    On Claims by Morton to have engaged in “serious” or “extensive ” research for his book are disingenuous: "Morton is a complete bigot"
     
    Hehe.
     
    Lucy
    xxx
     
     
     
     
     
    January 16

    I emerge from the fog of Bandura

    I don't think I realised until today how difficult it was to summarise a whole play in fifty words. Believe me it is. And then I discovered it was even harder to summarise it in ten words, and at five words it bordered on the ridiculous. However, it is even harder to summarise a whole play in fifty words without writing the letter 'e'. Do you realise how often we use that letter? In this blog so far I have used 37 'e's (please do correct me if I'm wrong, 37 is probably the most nightmarish number for me being as I can't write either digit without thinking very hard), and that is rather a lot in two and a half lines!
     
    This is why 'Gadsby', a story without the letter 'e' in it by Ernest Vincent Wright has provoked in me a new level of admiration.
     
    Lucy
    xxx
    January 12

    Stalker stories

    It's amazing how many things become urgent when you're avoiding revision. Today I did something I haven't done for a seriously long time: started and finished a book in one day. The novel itself was Blast from the Past by Ben Elton, and despite reading very mixed reviews about it, it kept my attention for longer than most. It was a nice change to read something not entirely academic and just an exciting page-turner. Sure, the story had a thinly veiled political overtone (angry feminist / pacifist and conservative army man strike up heated relationship) that was a bit annoying in some parts (especially if you like books to be about characters) but I enjoyed it. I think it tried to tick too many boxes: love, obsession, war, politics, political correctness, sex, poverty, disillusionment, ambition etc. etc. Still, better than Batson's empathy-altruism model.
     
    It reminded me though of another story that focusses on stalking and obsession (in a better way, if I'm truthful). The Collector by John Fowles is one of the best books I've read thus far, and if this post is nothing else apart from a recommendation for that novel then I'll be satisfied. A much more believable main female character, too.
     
    Lucy
    xxx
    January 10

    Gave me gear, thank you dear, bring your sister over here

    "Tradition granted goldsmiths a special status as craftsmen. During the early Middle Ages they worked only for the church and for rulers, who were thought to rule by the authority of God. The most famous 13th-century goldsmith was a monk. In some Catholic regions the prestige enjoyed by goldsmiths may have survived to this day. A play published in 1960, for example, contains the figure of a goldsmith with highly unusual abilities and a particularly piercing gaze, a "marvellous" maker of wedding rings. "My gold balance", he explains, "does not weigh metal but the life and lot of human beings..." The play, entitled "The Goldsmith's Shop", was even turned into a film. Its author, Karol Wojtyla, became Pope John Paul II."
    from What Great Paintings Say, Rose-Marie & Rainer Hagen.
     
    "Is it because you meditate?"
    Mrs Lee when I said I am a lucid dreamer.
     
    Lucy: "Oh Catholicism is so funny, I love Popes!"
    Mr Flaxman: "Sadly they can't reciprocate."
     
    "Ha look at this: 'Can Bourbon biscuits help to conceive a baby?'"
    Mr Flaxman, in our History lesson.
     
    "Ooh this is my type of website: www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com"
    Mr Flaxman, in our History lesson again.
     
    Lucy
    xxx
     
    P.S. Andy refused to shave during exams and now has a luxurious hilarious beard.
     
    January 08

    I wonder...

    To make scones what type of flour do you use? Plain?
     
    Lucy
    xxx
     
    EDIT: An anorak, a basketball, a coat, Dracula, an egg, fishfingers, a greenhouse, Haribo, ink, jewellery, a Kraftwerk CD, Lucozade, my mum, noodles, an organ, a prosthetic nose, something queer, rhubarb, Scrappy (Josie's dog), teabags, a ukelele, Vera, a wet wipe, xenophobia, I CAN'T REMEMBER Y AND Z, an anteater, bacon, a church, Diana's body and an emo.
     
    EDIT x2: Y and Z are a yeti and a zip, thanks to Josie for this. You win the game!
    January 06

    And yet I still blog...

    I'm actually twistedly impressed with how late I've left this. After a whole Christmas holiday I'm back to writing essays at 21:58 the night before they're due in.
     
    "In spite of the fact that the Mariner prays to God, the poem is more pagan than Christian."
    Consider Coleridge's presentation of the story of the Ancient Mariner in the light of this comment.
     
    Any ideas?
     
    Lucy
    xxx
    January 04

    Do I really only have 3 days left?

    In the misty void of Cofton Hackett (how easy it is to get bored of this place!) I am using many tactics to avoid the schoolwork I promised to do yesterday and today. These include ice skating, a rather large triumph on my part after managing to skate on my own, with no falling! I tell you, learning to walk was probably easier. I also re-installed The Sims, something I predict will end up being the final nail in the coffin of any important essays. I've read more useless books than ever before, watched more TV than I probably have in my life and am blogging, of course. This surprising reincarnation can probably be blamed on the homework planner screaming my name right now.
     
    In other news, I became a reject, an unsurprising relief as it means no more lying to myself. The much-feared snow didn't come, I have officially ruined my sleep cycle, and tonight I have the pleasure of hosting a night of socialising as my mother does a spot of socialising herself.
     
    And on that note, it is time to shower.
     
    Lucy
    xxx  
    January 02

    People on the 11:50 Chiltern train from Marylebone to Snow Hill

    • The man sitting next to me was blond, ate an egg sandwich and drank from a carton of juice. He was an actor, reading The Stage cover to cover. He paid particular attention to a tiny show review in the corner of one of the pages. It was about someone he knew - the director? Actor? Producer? They spoke on the phone and it was a good review - "Lively and Likeable", apparently. The man next to me had been involved in a show and was exhausted, but the producer liked it. I wonder what it was?
    • The woman behind seemed really friendly and laughed a lot, even when she trapped her finger in the pull-down tray. She was a musician, and used to sing in bands but ruined her voice through smoking. She teaches in a college now, and I get the impression she doesn't really enjoy it. It stresses her out and upsets her, and it's sad when talented musicians have no other career to go into. However, she plays piano, clarinet "when she has to" and is learning the cello. They're decorating their bathroom right now, but her beloved cat keeps getting in the way. This is the cat she talked to on the phone.
    • The man next to her works for BBC Sport. He and his wife from York live in Surrey, 20 minutes from London and wanted somewhere rural (but obviously not too rural). His New Year's resolution is to get fit, with a low fat sandwich, coffee (an appetite surpressant, apparently), sushi and a fruit smoothie for lunch. I wonder how much sugar was in that? And I wonder is that really the right way to go about it?
    • There was a group of old people who I presume were transferred from the disastrous Euston. They seemed incredibly confused and bewildered, but the man had the most retro sunglasses I have ever seen. It wasn't even sunny. I later discovered they weren't together, and had formed a group to survive the treacherous British railway system when faced with an impromptu change. Well done, quick thinking.

    The extras were the glamourous old lady and her pretty relative, the blonde lady in front, the large woman who got off at Bicester with a pink DS, the man who talked to Retro Sunglasses Man, the stripy scarf woman who got off at Solihull after standing for nearly an hour (applause for her) and the boy with the Hugest Suitcase Ever.

    Happy New Year, and thank you to all the people I've spent the last few days with.

    Lucy

    xxx