So Christmas, Christmas? It's often said (by me, usually) that every cloud has a silver lining, and this Christmas is no exception. I'm not suggesting the birth of Jesus is a cloud by any means, but this Yuletide was slightly overcast (and only slightly) by the change in my familial situation over the last year or so. The lining was fittingly shallow, being silver and all, and came in the form of presents. My mum got me a new phone, which I must admit was as needed as these things are due to my last phone refusing to accept calls. My dad got me a camera, a surprise accidentally revealed by my brother a few weeks ago, but still very appreciated. So yes, my materialistic optimism has shone like the sun through a metaphorical cloud. In a silvery, metallic way.

 

The camera has brought to light a new addiction to second-rate, amateur photography, so I'll pre-warn you all before I spring up from behind you shouting 'Smile!'. Sorry in advance. I had other presents too, although I'm possibly less grateful for Dom's gift of a cold. As I write this I'm sneezing, and so is my mum, my brother and even Harry from across the road. Good job it's a season of forgiveness, no?

 

Lucy

xxx

From my wrapping paper bedroom and Sellotaped bed, Merry Christmas for tomorrow!

 

Lucy

xxx

Now and again Sky reveals a hidden gem that improves your life in a variety of ways. Sometimes this is genuine, and you find a fantastic programme or a series that isn't shown on mainstream TV. Sometimes this is intended, and you are able to watch a show you love at any time, even if it is difficult to see elsewhere. Sometimes, however, this improvement is totally accidental and leaves you wondering why it wasn't in your life beforehand.

 

On Friday I experienced one of these discoveries. In an aimless afternoon, Dominic and I were flicking through the channels and stumbled across Passion TV. A couple were standing/sitting in front of a completely still and static camera, surrounded by a mismatched background. They were very slightly out of the shot and basically spent half an hour talking about not very much. Every sentence was punctuated with 'Yes' or 'Jesus be praised' or 'Hallelujah' or 'Amen', and was really very odd. I was told I was going to have a baby in a year. Amen.

 

After a small break from the stationary saints, we returned to the channel. If the Evangelists were mildly amusing, 'The Gatekeepers' was hilarious. The titles began and consisted of an array of WordArt effects mixed with Windows Movie Maker. The music was a bit Nintendo/Shareware, and it all lasted at least 5 minutes longer than usual. Every single character had a large portion of title time and their own WordArt introduction. The sound was practically a tape played into a microphone, and halfway through the titles the sound stopped completely. To check whether this was my fault or theirs, I flicked to another channel. Nope, fine. Returning to Passion TV, we were greeted by the sight of their DVD menu. We watched them scroll through the options, look through for some sound help (at the time the programme itself was either frozen, paused or on the test screen) and finally exit the menu after much fumbling (and a few shared looks of bewilderment on my part). Here, the programme began again seamlessly, I thought.

 

The actual Gatekeepers were also not lacking in amusement themselves. Each scene was hilariously put together and I have a sneaky suspicion it was filmed on a video camera. Every part started with someone sitting on a chair / in a car with a phone next to them. Then the phone rang. They had an emotional conversation. They rushed off somewhere else. Except the woman who was tied up on the floor. She didn't rush off anywhere, sadly.

 

As well as the fantastic production quality, we watched every last, excruciating detail. We watched a car reverse, do a three point turn then drive off into the distance. We watched the family of the aforementioned tied-up woman untie her, every single knot. It was wonderfully funny.

 

But, all credit to them, it'd be better than something I'd ever do and they are trying to reach an under-represented audience. It also made me and Dom laugh rather a lot. So, thanks Passion TV!

 

Lucy

xxx

I need to make a confession. The poster on the roundabout has in fact included the apostrophe in 'HOW'S'. I feel I owe the makers of the poster an apology, the reader(s) of this blog an apology, and most of all Jesus Himself an apology.

 

I'll leave you with the quote from 'A Room With A View' we used in Chinese Whispers today:

'It was a jolly good letter'

This became:

'Twenty spaghetti'

 

Lucy

xxx

 

 

I wrote a blog then immediately deleted it as I found it totally boring, and that's coming from the author herself. This is to be known forever more as the defining moment in my day when I realised I'm actually not a very interesting person and haven't got anything very interesting to write about in a very interesting way. This didn't upset me, however, and I've bounced back from this harsh realisation to carry on competing with Andy bringing festive joy to the world. What a strong and dedicated writer I am...

 

On another, better blog the author wrote a list of 100 blog topics and asks us, the unworthy audience, to write a blog for each of the topics. What a useful idea Chris Brogan (whose job it is to advise 'organizations and individuals on how to use social media and social networks to build relationships and deliver value'), although you possibly could have used a few more buzzwords. Anyway, despite my initial cynicism about it being a bit business-based, I found some rather amusing titles you could have fun with:

 

Andrew Kings Esq. has started a new blog!

 

This made me remember how brilliant and witty and emoticon-tastic this blog used to be. It brought a tear my eye to think of what I lost all those months ago when I became apathetic and lazy. I felt ashamed, so here I am (not copying Andy at all) to record my sadness at this event. Here. Again. In the orange and green I so carefully crafted. Oh blog, why did I ever leave you?

 

I'm not promising to blog because my life is so excruciatingly mundane that it's bound to fizzle out sometime soon, just to be pessimistic about this. But, saying that, I could say I stopped blogging due to being busy, leading us to the conclusion something must be happening! Take this weekend, for example. I saw many many Santas around Nelson's Column, drinking and throwing sprouts and defacing our glorious Admiral's monument with their drunken rowdiness. This was an amusing surprise, and surely blog-worthy, no? Were some of them French and/or Spanish, do you think? There was also a shouting man possibly trying to tell us the world is going to end, but we missed that through a rousing chorus of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'.

 

I also saw the *real* Sunflowers (through a crowd of 'ooh'ers and 'aah'ers) to which somebody who shall remain nameless said 'Is that famous?'. Turns out he/she was being serious when asking that question. I'm still confused now.

 

I went to a party and managed to make one Smirnoff Ice last about an hour and a half, and at this party another nameless person had dressed as Jesus (complete with large wooden cross); George (whose party it was) dressed as a skeleton and lay in a coffin; and I feel the rule of three should be obeyed here but cannot think of something to fulfill this.

 

Only one more week, one more painful Christmas-themed last day of school, one more busy Wednesday and four more German lessons. And a Sixth Form Christmas Party to follow.

 

Peace out empty audience, thanks Andy for fuelling the blogfire, and thanks Dom for rousing this in all of us.

 

Lucy

xxx